For some reason unknown to me, people feel the need to give their two cents (in the most insensitive ways) when someone loses a job.
It’s not like the thousands of job applications (99% of them without so much as a response), the gruelling interviews (all the same mortifying experience), or the fear that my bank account is running on empty is enough of a shit show.
In a country with an alarming high unemployment rate and as a newly unemployed person, I felt it necessary to give these people a little advise on what not to say to me (and others in my horrible position).
“Shoulda, woulda, coulda”
All of a sudden everybody turns into a career councillor with unlimited knowledge about what I was suppose to do to save my own ass. Take note Einsteins: retrenchment does not happen because people are not good at what they do, it does not happen because people don’t fight hard enough for their jobs, it’s not a mirror of you personality or you skill set. Please stop with the “maybe you should have rather done this” or the “maybe you could have tried that”. Hindsight is 20/20 – but in hindsight, nothing i could have, would have or should have done, could have prevented a retrenchment. Please don’t try to direct me on the unsure way forward. If you haven’t found yourself in this exact position, rather keep your “counselling” to your damn self.
“Do you know that other successful people lost their jobs in the past?”
No shit, Sherlock. But I am no Walt Disney, Oprah or J.K. Rowling. I am Hanri. And from where I am standing now, everything looks pretty crap and the possibility of me becoming a millionaire is non existent. Would you like it if I pointed out that you will have a dad bod one day, just like Vin Diesel? Or that you will soon be bald, like Prince William? No? Exactly! Do not try to compare me to people who are worlds away from me. Please and thank you.
“Everything will be okay.”
Well how the hell do you know that, Susan? And okay is not a term that everyone feels the same about. Okay for you is me not starving. Okay for me is me not cancelling my plans to have a social life. Your head is not okay if you think it is okay to tell me that everything will be okay.
“You’ll get another job in no time.”
Well you lovely little clairvoyant wannabe. Have you seen the unemployment rate? Do you live under a rock? Because I know now, better than ever, that a good job is hard to come by. And I know the sins of my ancestors (apartheid) is haunting me (for a very valid reason) and that I am way too white to fill a BEE-position. So no, I might not get a job in to time. In fact: it’s been two months and I am still unemployed.
“Just stay positive.”
Oh why not. I will just ignore reality and my feelings and pretend that this set back is nothing but a nice garden in spring. Or not. I am down in the dumps, I ate that humble pie, I am anxious and depressed. I am not positive. And you being a total jerk will not change me into a positive little princess.
“I wish I could take some time off work.”
Do you? Do you really? So do it then. And after a month, when all your savings are depleted, you spent 8 hours in front of a laptop looking for a position that does not exist, when you watch all the Netflix crime documentaries after 3000 applications were unsuccessful, come back to me.
So here is MY two cents on the matter. Keep your opinion and advise to yourself. Especially of you have never been retrenched. Because you will never know the roller coaster of emotions. You will not feel the stages of grief. You won’t understand the knock to your self confidence or the complete hopelessness of the situation.
And unless you plan on making me a job offer, you will not be able to change the situation.
So until then: Fuck all the way off.
grootmensspeletjies 